May 14,2002
Hey Dusty;
I bought a book Saturday called, "From Mourning to Morning" by Harry and Cheryl Salem. It is uplifting to my spirit. It even has a rainbow on the cover like the picture I put in your coffin and like the rainbow in the sky when they put your body into the ground..
Your tombstone is beautiful. We picked out one with a bass and a deer on it because that was so much like you... hunting and fishing.
I bought flowers to go on your tombstone and in the vase, they look so pretty.
Your funeral was the most beautiful service I have ever seen. I played the song you dedicated to me on Mother's Day one year, by BOYZ2MEN; "A Song For Moma." And for your dad, "Go Rest High on That Mountain" by Vince Gill. We played the song for me after the intro and prayer, and the one for your dad at the end of the service. People from church sang some gospel acupelo songs too. I am sure you heard them but just in case you didn't; guess I just told you.
I Love you my Son,
Mom
May 17th, 2002
I have been through 5 full days without crying; although today I have felt tired and depressed. I supppose it has a lot to do with yesterday.
I went and saw your car for the first time after the wreck and Dust---
it was such a bad wreck.
Your bucket-seat is all the way back; laying flat against the backseat and the bottom of your seat is folded in half together. Your boot is still in the floorboard with metal twisted around it.
I can see how you were pinned in and why it took so long to cut you out of it.
Jason showed me where you head was laying but he didn't think I should look under the glass--- I know your blood must've been there.
I just feel like these are steps I have to take--- to see and feel the last places you were at.
I left a note on the door of "Kevin and Sarah" who were helping you and Jason before anyone got there-- I left my phone number for them; perhaps they'll call someday.
I put flowers on the roadside where your car ended up at
I just don't believe you ran that stop sign! I believe the other driver was distracted and hit you accidently at a high rate of speed.
Yes, it was tragic!
But I want to know the truth about how it occurred. There was just too much road there (5 lanes) for the man to have missed you.
I brought the police report to a lawyer, some questions I had and some pics of the car.
I just want to know the truth!
Maybe in denial; maybe mother's intuition(?).
The police report is not like Jason tells it at all. He says y'all stopped at the stop sign, went across to the median, and was waiting to turn and go South; when suddenly ya'll saw bright lights---
and the car "just exploded." I believe Jason.
I love you- Dust- Sweet Dreams-- MOM
Oh yeah, TJ turned one year old yesterday.
